Find Your Tribe!
Life is too long, we can’t do it alone…relationships and connections are an essential part of our overall health. Here are a few tips to engage with others in a very healthy way:
• Health is contagious, there is research about it, people who spend time with people, people who like people are not just happier, but healthier. If there is one thing you would like to do to get healthier, find the healthier people in your community and spend time with them, chances are you will get healthier.
• We don’t have to say NO to people, but our tendency should be to find our tribe: people whom we love and who love us back!! Life is long, we can’t do everything alone, your tribe is there with you all along the way. Furthermore, we need face-to-face interactions, not just online or on the phone.
• We are human beings; we have a diversity of feelings and needs. It is really hard to obtain everything we need from just one person, and that is ok. Embrace diversity of feelings and needs (ie. at work, home, community, sports, etc.)
• Don’t wait to say “I love you”; “I am sorry”; “What can I do for you?” Have the courage to engage in conversation, to open up and face your vulnerability from time to time.
• Focus on filling somebody’s bucket ( ie. add comments, do and say positive things to others, love them up)
• How can we be better? Ask for negative feedback… be brave to explore areas of improvement.
• Be genuine, by doing so you will attract the right people to yourself, those who are similar to you and those who can complement you.
• Listen. Active listening creates magic… truly listen, put yourself in somebody’s shoes, understand their point of view, AND embrace silence, it opens up new paths, new lines of conversation.
• Meditate. It increases empathy to deal with others, it adds one or two seconds to your brain so that you can react differently to situations, not impulsively.
• Play: structured play, unstructured play, kids and adults. Everybody should play! It is excellent for the plasticity of our brain.
• Serve others: in order to compensate for the dopamine effect (see my previous blog on the subject) we need to release serotonin and oxytocin. We can do that in multiple ways in our lives, but the number one way to release serotonin and oxytocin and therefore compensate the dopamine rush is to serve others. We can all do that in our jobs, families, communities, sports, hobbies, etc. However, never forget about yourself. It is totally compatible to love yourself and serve others at the same time.
I would love to encourage you to love yourself, your body, mind and spirit and to surround yourself with those who love you.
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Virginia